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About Me Member General Digital Photographer Stephanie Huskey21/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Years
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Statistics 36 Deviations
541 Comments
4,215 Pageviews

My small little black book

Sat Nov 14, 2009, 10:15 PM
It has all my thoughts in that little book and I have just realized that for the past three nights I cant stop crying.

Here is one day around 5:03 am

I cant sleep, I'm going through my head what I could lof done better in my life and where I would be now. I'm also thinking about all the ex boyfriends I have had. Jordan was the best there was so far and that was 5 years ago and in high school. There was also Jess, my first real sexual partner and lover. He had alot of issues but so did I. Finally there was my last ex Jeremy, the one guy that I should of never been with. He changed my life forever, left a scar that will never heal. I cant really say now that I learned something from that or if it was for the better or worse. You know the reason why I cry is because the only things that make me happy is my video games and my cat. My life has nothing to it other than those objects, plus family and friends. I'm just saying that those objects are the only things that keep me at least a little happy.

I wish Bryan was here. Ever since he has died I took different turns in life. I can say offically that my life has build up to sucking. I still dont understand why I'm still here. Why I keep fighting. It doesnt make since to me anymore. I look at my sister and brother at times and see how they have so much. Josh is touring in a band. Thats his liftime dream. Liz is cutting hair, and that her dream job. To be honest I'm still not sure what to do with my life. I have thought of things, but nothing I really drive for.

Its almost 5:30 am and I'm still not sleepy. What is wrong with me? How come I cant just be me. The Steph I was in high school. When I was in a band and had fun without all the trouble I get myself into. I never play bass anymore because I think of Bryan. I sold my first bass for gas money because i have been jobless for 2 months.

  • Mood: Sadness

deviantID

i really need to work

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Joplin, Missouri
  • Interests: play bass guitar, reading, Graphic Arts, Fencing,ROBERT, playing PS2, drawing, and going to concerts
  • Favourite movie: Lord of the Rings, Boom Dock Sanits...Happy Tree Friends
  • Favourite band or musician: Underoath, Still Remains, Agony Scene, Blindside
  • Favourite genre of music: Hardcore, emo, screamo, alot of metal
  • Favourite artist: to many..tee hee heee
  • Favourite poet or writer: none really(But I like to read)
  • Favourite photographer: I don't know
  • Favourite style of art: Photography
  • Operating System: on computer?
  • MP3 player of choice: don't have one.. tear*
  • Shell of choice: do what? and nutt shell I guess
  • Wallpaper of choice: anime
  • Skin of choice: ..blah on you
  • Favourite game: ohhh man .... Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, .Hack, too too many
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2
  • Favourite cartoon character: Kurama Yoko
  • Personal Quote: Buttmonkey!!! and Stop it.. I didn't do anything!!
  • Tools of the Trade: ....pencil....paper....rock....sicciors..

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Comments


:iconminimeia:
o-kay, probably, you'll think that i'm a crazy person (&, probably, you're right xD)... but here in Portugal, right now, it's 11pm and i'm really sleepy and my brain doesn't work these hours. xD so, thank you for the comment & favorite.

--
«have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.»
:iconminimeia:
actually was a comment not a favorite xD

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«have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.»
:iconminimeia:
i was kinda away from this & i apologize for the delay, but thank you so much for favorite. :)

--
«have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.»
:iconlydens:
Hey! I thought you said you'd be drawing some more! I see no drawings!
:iconxredskiesx:
I just lost my talent. I need to stay with it if I really want to get good.

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The End


Dont make me turn you into a zombie!
:iconlydens:
Ahhhh, I don't buy it! You'll pick everything back up once you sit down and work on it for a while.
:iconxredskiesx:
Yeah I'm sure I will.

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The End


Dont make me turn you into a zombie!
:iconakuriko:
Thanks for the watch! ;D
:iconscorpion-vinny:
yay thanks for being the first to comment me :)is your car a mazda 323?

--
~Scorpion-Vinny~
Twice The Sting,For Twice The Fun.
:iconxredskiesx:
mazda protege 2002..and yep its my car..

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The End


Dont make me turn you into a zombie!

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